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Delaware Doctor Successfully Aborts One Twin
Written by Ramon Hernando   
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Delaware abortionist Carl Dostoevsky successfully aborted one of two Siamese twins yesterday at Grady Hospital, dissolving the tiresome question of what to do with that cumbersome, repetitious—and slightly eerie—second child.

Whether Dostoevsky will be able to remove the now dead carcass from the other, still- living child remains precarious, as does the doctor’s plans for the dead twin’s many salvageable organs.

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 04 June 2008 )
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Coach Arrested, Mystery of Bearded Girls Uncovered
Written by Ramon Hernando   
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
Dempsey Middle School Coach Bob TitmanHead coach of the Dempsey Middle school softball team, Bob Titman, was arrested yesterday on charges of child abuse and child endangerment for regularly spiking his seventh-grade team’s Gatorade with a cocktail of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs.

The arrest followed a month-long investigation aiming to uncover the reason why more than half of the team’s 12- and 13-year-old girls began to develop abnormally prolific facial and body hair.

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 21 May 2008 )
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The Hamburger Inn restaurant, located in downtown Delaware, was originally built to serve as a hotel for hamburgalers in the late 1950's. The owners converted it to a restaurant after they were informed that only one hamburgaler existed, and that it most likely would never visit Delaware.
 

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